The War At Home

Every day I chastise myself for not growing up.

Then berate myself for the chastisement.

I have a vision of “grown up” Jason. He eats healthier, exercises daily, writes daily, games less, reads more, watches no tv. Practices guitar. Manages his calories. Lives by schedule to guarantee time spent productively.

Part of me hates that vision. GrownUpJason is boring. He can’t discuss the latest MMOs because he never plays them. He won’t crack jokes from the latest season of The Office or South Park.

FunJason believes (for good or ill) that good writers not only write, but they live content-rich lives with myriad experiences.

GrownUpJason:  That’s just an excuse to goof off.

FunJason: ‘Goofing off’ is how I got most of what’s good in my life. It’s how I met my wife, made friends, and even the skills that landed me jobs were acquired in gaming.

GrownUpJason: But those weren’t jobs you wanted. Those are stopgap jobs to make ends meet. You could have been writing.

FunJason: Less than 1% of novels ever turn a profit.

GrownUpJason: You’re talented enough to be the 1%, if you put in the required time to practice.

FunJason: If you’d launched a successful writing career in college, you wouldn’t have finished your degree. Or joined law enforcement. How many real-life stories did you learn there? How much about the way the world works?

GrownUpJason: That was a shitty job and you know it. And you didn’t even do anything with it! 12-hour shifts of boredom and you wrote almost nothing!

FunJason: But I developed so many ideas. And grew as a person.

GrownUpJason: At least tell me you’ll write today.

FunJason: Sure. After we design some Portal tests.

GrownUpJason: More slacking off?

FunJason: Designing is really hard work! How can you call that slacking?

GrownUpJason: It’s for a videogame!

FunJason: It’s creating fun worlds for others to enjoy! Just like *gasp* WRITING!

GrownUpJason: Some days I don’t even know you.

FunJason: Square.

GrownUpJason: Slacker.

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