SATURDAY SPOTLIGHT: The Best Book Ever Written

Each Saturday, Jason spotlights one product or service he finds particularly useful or enjoyable; the kind of things that make you wonder, “Why doesn’t everyone have this?”

Welcome back to www.jasonrpeters.com. Happy weekend. I hope your year is going as well as mine is. Or if you’re reading this on Facebook, I feel sorry for you, but thanks anyway; accidental support is better than no support at all.

There it is in the picture I took just moments ago: The book in my library more times than any other, so thoroughly used and abused that it is entirely falling apart.

I wish I could claim to be holier-than-thou enough for that to be the Bible, but it isn’t. Nor any other “religious” text in the traditional sense.

No, I’m not talking about a book I’ve ever read out of duty, but so eagerly and repeatedly that I have no idea when I first read the book. This story is as much a part of my psyche as any distant memory or cherished event, and has shaped my personality my whole life.

The book is written in text of two colors; red and green in my copy, though I have seen other color pairs. The colors correspond to worlds within the book; red for our world, green for the fantasy world. And when you finally get halfway through the book, and a character from our world who always appeared in red text suddenly appears in green pose, it’s a shocking and meaningful moment. (This same technique was adopted by The Matrix which used blue tinge for the real world and green tinge for all events that occurred in the Matrix.)

Each chapter begins with beautiful large capitals of the Alphabet. In order. The first chapter starts with “A”, the second with “B”, and the last with “Z”, and the book is one prologue and exactly 26 chapters. It must have been my 100th reading before I even realized this.

If you’ve ever read it, you already know exactly the book I’m talking about. But if you haven’t read it, I’m about to name the title. And if ANY of you mention a MOVIE which bears almost nothing in common with the book except the title, I shall disown you. That’s like if someone asks you if you’ve read the Bible, and you say no, but I saw The Passion of the Christ. Actually it’s worse, because Passion for all its flaws was a deep and meaningful movie, and The Neverending Story was a complete joke in comparison to the book.

Don’t tell me you liked the movie. I know. I liked it too, until I read the book and realized how thoroughly it had been spit on by filmmakers hoping to make a quick buck at the expense of true storytelling. It happens to contain some of the same characters and concepts, but that’s it.

In the movie, the Nothing is a kind of destructive windstorm. In the book, the Nothing is a nothingness creeping over Fantastica, like a non-gravitational black hole. Things near it lose color and fade until they are simply…nothing.

In the movie, the Southern Oracle is a pair of Sphinxes that speaks with a disembodied voice. In the book, the Sphinxes are creatures that send out riddles with their eyes and are just one of three tests Atreyu must pass to speak to the southern oracle, which IS disembodied voice made up of poetry and song, that only speaks in rhyme, and can only hear questions that are phrased in verse.

In the movie, Atreyu is a whiny child that basically yells at every creature and monster he encounters. In the book, Atreyu is an accomplished and solemn hunter.

In the movie, when Bastion names the Childlike Empress, the Nothing is banished and Bastion is the hero and the movie ends.

In the book, when Bastion names the Childlike Empress “Moon Child”, thereby expressing his belief in Fantastica and abolishing the Nothing, he is transported into Fantastica to meet with the Childlike Empress. Just like in the movie, except that the story is just beginning. The movie left out such insignificant details as the Auryn granting Bastion’s wishes until he is handsome, strong, and brave, and climbs trees hundreds of feet high and rides across the Desert of Many Colors on the back of lion as deadly as death itself.

The movie left out such minor moments as Bastion’s social and political rise to power, waited on hand and foot by every kind of creature imaginable as he begins a selfish quest to force the Childlike Empress to reappear to him.

The movie left out such minor details as Bastion’s conquering the Ivory tower, declaring himself emperor, and Atreyu’s war against him which left the Ivory tower bloodied and broken, and Bastion destitute and lonely until he finds the City of Old Emperors; the sad remains of Fantastica’s other usurpers, and Bastion learns that he can just barely go home.

The movie left out the entire point of the book, which was Bastion’s relationship with his father, healed only after he learned all the lessons that Fantastica had to offer, after having experienced everything from being an Emperor with godlike powers to being lost and alone and forgotten in a strange world and no memory of how he arrived, or at the worst moments, even who he was.

It is true that the second movie brought in some of the concepts from the second half of the book. But it did an even worse job than the first movie. Comparing The Neverending Story 2 film to the second half of the book is a little like comparing Dora The Explorer to Lord of the Rings. So please, I beg you, don’t.

I fear something, though, after having written this article. If you finally read the book, you will be disappointed by the expectations I’ve set. So let me do what I can to temper those expectations, and assure you that your experience will not be the same as mine.

1. The book is a German children’s book. It was translated into English, and though I own a German copy, I cannot read German and so I fear the book may have lost some of the original depth.

2. I read and fell in love with this book as a child. You’re an adult now, and you will be critical of things that never bothered me.

3. Like the trope Seinfeld is Unfunny, there are probably books, movies, and shows that have borrowed from this book without even realizing it. When I first read it, the concepts and elements were new to me. They will not be new to you.

4. Some of the names in the book are cheesy, since it WAS written for children. The name “Fantastica” doesn’t do much for me, for starters. You will have to find the kid in you to get past these things if they bug you.

5. Bastian is a little wimp/panzy/loser/crybaby. He will be difficult for some of you to identify with. I identified with him precisely because his experience growing up was much like mine. If you have never been chased by bullies or made fun of for your appearance, you won’t know what I’m talking about and the book won’t mean as much to you.

6. ANY time a book or movie is recommended, the recommendee NEVER likes it as much as the recommender. So you won’t like this book as much as I did, guaranteed.

7. All taste is subjective. I’m not saying this is the best book ever written in literary terms, in symbolism, in critical acclaim, in sales, in popularity. Nor do I think it ever will be. I am saying that this book spoke directly to my soul in ways that greatly surpass almost everything else I’ve ever read, and therefore in my life, in my subjective experiences, and in my little selfish corner of the universe, that makes it the best book ever written.

When I read it, I was learning about myself. When you read it, you may also learn about yourself, but it’s more likely that you’ll be learning about me.

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it. I’d loan you my copy, but it is virtually destroyed already.

The Most Valuable Gift I Got This Christmas

Remember the non-fiction book I mentioned? Of course you don’t; imagine my ego to assume that you would! The nerve of me.

Doesn’t matter. My grandparents gave me the book pictured left, which before cracking it open and reading a page, I thought, “That’s nice” and didn’t think much else.

Then I started to read.

In just two weeks I have become the biggest fan of Dave Ramsey’s teachings about money management. I’d already heard of another book by Ramsey, Financial Peace, because I have a coworker whose a big fan of it. I had already begun to enact some of those principles in how I spend money, for no other reason than because they just made sense. The Total Money Makeover appears to be the cliffnotes version of Financial Peace in shorter, broader strokes.

He begins the book by telling you what the book is NOT, which I love:

The book is NOT politically correct.

It is NOT a way to get rich quick.

It does NOT contain secrets (or even details) of investing.

It does NOT solve your problems without hard work.

What it does do, at least what it has done for me, was convince me that with a little sacrifice and a lot of effort and attention, my wife and I can be debt free in a few short years, and through rigorous investing thereafter, might retire as millionaires.

Again, no “get rich quick” schemes or gimmicks; he’s talking about spending years and years and years investing, and that’s only after you’ve freed up tremendous amounts of your income compared to the average American.

The steps themselves are simple, but most people just don’t exercise the discipline to put them into action.

1. Save up $1,000 liquid emergency fund.

2. Pay down your smallest debt. After that debt is paid, use its monthly payment as additional money for your next smallest debt. Use both those payments in your third smallest, and so forth.

There are more steps, but I’m going to pause right there because that’s the one that has me fired up and excited. Because it’s so easy if you just actually do it.

I’ve tried to talk to friends and co-workers about this, and as Dave predicts in his book, they just don’t get it.

“Imagine having no payments except your mortgage by 2012,” I posit.

My friends answer this as if I’d said, “Imagine having a flying horse by 2012,” and they answer appropriately.

“That sure would be nice. Keep dreaming.”

What? No. I’ve already done the math.

In our case (me and my wife’s), we attended an expensive private school (we didn’t know any better. We do now.) So our debt is going to take a bit longer to pay off: ~4 years at our current salaries. That may sound like a long time, but in my case, that’s roughly half the time it took me to go to school. Had we started the first year we were out of school, we’d be done by now.

It’s not magic, it’s not mythical, and it’s not hypothetical. It’s posssible.

But most Americans truly cannot even imagine living without debt, and dogmatically insist that it’s impossible to have no credit cards and no car payments, and no payments of any kind.

In the meanwhile, I’m convinced that most people have no idea just how much money they make because they throw quite a lot of it away. I’ve looked at the numbers in our budget, and without loans, we’d have a lot of spending money, even after rigorous investing. And I can tell you, we don’t make that much money overall. Neither of us pulls a salary I would consider even remotely “comfortable”. But when you look at where all the money is going, and how much of it is wasted on interest, it becomes clear there’s a lot more to be had than we thought.

If we manage it intelligently.

Step 3 is to save 3-6 months of expenses in some liquid form.

Step 4 is to invest 15% of your gross income. Which should be a cakewalk if you have no bills except mortgage and utilities.

Step 5 is to save for your children’s college eduction.

Step 6 is to pay off your mortgage. Entirely.

During all of this, you don’t charge ANYTHING to a credit card or loan. Ever. No 90 days same as cash. No car payments – you pay cash. No student loans; if you want to go to school, you pay cash.

People will insist you need a good credit rating. Why? If you aren’t borrowing anything, whom do you have to depend on for credit?

I’m sold, and I’m determined to be a millionaire by the time I retire, even if (god forbid) I never sell a single book. Not by some magic formula or get rich quick scheme. But by making the necessary sacrifices now to eliminate debt and keep more of my own paycheck.

I’ve done the math myself. There’s no reason it won’t work, except possibly lack of follow-through.

But by now, most of you already think I’m crazy for trying. That’s okay. I expected that.

Dear Apple

no thanksDear Apple,

I love my ipod.

I hope someday to have an iphone, but only if you sign a contract with my carrier instead of a carrier with a reputation for dropped calls.

I have nothing against Macs though as a gamer I have opted for many a PC (though this stands for “personal computer” and shouldn’t necessarily refer to architecture. Aren’t Macs personal?)

But please, for the love of Thor, stop offering to install Safari on my computer. I have no need of it. I have no use for it. There is not a thing I would do with it if it were installed (except, perhaps, uninstall it).

Please stop offering to install it just because I install other Apple software.

Sincerely,

One who is less likely to be your customer in the future.

CHALLENGING THE STATUS QUO: Top Ten Reasons to Love Facebook

#10. Your closest friends aren’t on Facebook anyway.

My best friend from college is not on Facebook. My brother is not. My parents are not. And yet I have no problem keeping in touch with those people, sharing photographs or other content and making arrangements for visits. Even those who do have Facebook accounts, like my wife or coworkers, don’t use Facebook as a means to interact with me. In your real relationships, Facebook is entirely superfluous.

Your fake relationships are another matter.

#9.Finding friends who aren’t your friends (or them finding you).

You’ll get requests from people you barely met, or have never met. You won’t bond with them or develop a real friendship, but you’ll be able to peruse their favorite tv shows whenever you’re tired of watching yours. At the extreme end of the spectrum are those people you’d rather have nothing to do with who find you and friend you on Facebook.

“Facebook…an easier, more subtle way to be your stalker.” Continue reading

Poorest Customer Service Ever = Worst Move Experience Ever

BoxesIf you thought moving was painful, try it sometime with an anterior wedge fracture and a herniated disc. But setting aside my own self pity for the nonce, it’s been even more fun dealing with the moving company.

As of Thursday, our move day was scheduled for Saturday. The next step in the process between them and us was they were supposed to call us Friday to tell us what time we would see them Saturday.

No call ever came.

By 4 PM Friday, Megan called the only number we had for them, where she was getting voicemail only for a lady named Gloria.

By this morning, which is our move day, we had left three messages and heard nothing back.

By 9:15 I was on the internet looking for alternate numbers to this company. I found one.

I hold for 15 minutes.

Operator: How may I direct your call?

Jason: I do not know how you may direct my call, our move day is today and we have neither seen nor heard from the movers. I have a confirmation number. I read the confirmation number.

Operator: Please hold.

I hold for ten more minutes.

Operator: It appears there was a mixup in the paperwork.

Jason: What kind of ‘mixup’?

Operator: (continuing as if he hadn’t spoken) We don’t have anyone we can dispatch today. Can I schedule something for tomorrow?

Jason: My move is today.

Operator: Well, we don’t have anyone who can be there today. Not even this evening.

Jason: Fine, schedule something for tomorrow. What kind of mixup was there?

Operator: You’ll have to call [company name]. (Note that this is who I thought I was on the phone with.) We’re just the carrier, you’ll have to take it up with the company.

Jason: Fine.

I  call the number provided, which, by the way, does not match the number we were given as a contact number.

I’m placed on hold for 10 minutes.

Dispatcher: Dispatch!

Jason: Today is our move day but we’ve neither seen nor heard from anyone.

Dispatcher: Let me transfer you to that department… (What ‘department’?)

I now hold for THIRTY MORE MINUTES before anyone picks up.

Customer Service Rep: Thank you for calling customer service, my name is ________, how may I help you today?

I attempted to demonstrate considerable restraint by keeping my tone calm and cusswords out of my vocabulary.

Jason: Our move day… is … today. We…have…not…seen…or…heard…from…our…movers. (See? I did it. Although I think some of my teeth may now be ground into a fine powder.)

Confirmation number is given.

CSR: Alright, let me call the carrier and see what’s going on with that.

The CARRIER? That’s who I was JUST on the phone with and told me to call YOU. Before I can object, though, I’m placed on hold…for FIFTEEN MORE MINUTES.

CSR: Okay, I’m going to send them an email, it seems like the line is busy. (Gee, ya think?)

I’m placed on hold again for 10 more minutes.

CSR: Sir, did you, or your wife, just call them and reschedule for tomorrow?

Jason: I just called them. I do not want to reschedule for tomorrow, but they told me there was no other option.

CSR: Let me see.

I’m placed on hold for another five minutes.

CSR: There’s no way we can get to your move today, not even later this evening.

Jason: Fine. (Even though it isn’t.)

CSR: Will that work for you?

Jason: No, but what choice do I have?

CSR: I’ll speak to my manager about getting you some compensation. The movers will be out there between 9 and 10 AM tomorrow.

You mean like they were supposed to be today? I think I’ve heard this song before.

Jason: Fine. Can we expect a call?

CSR: They’ll call you between 7 and 8 AM tomorrow morning.

You mean like they were supposed to call today?

Jason: What kind of mixup was there?

CSR: Sometimes, what happens is, if a move takes longer than it’s supposed to, it can push your move back.

Note that she didn’t say this IS what happened. What happened is they LOST our paperwork for the move, but she doesn’t want to admit that. So instead I get this “sometimes what happens is…”

Jason: If that’s what happened, we should have been called and informed immediately.

CSR: I agree, sir, but all I can do now is apologize.

Jason: Fine. I’m angry, but thank you for your help.

Our paperwork from the move company arrived in the mail. Scheduled move date on the form?

Today. August 8th.

11 minutes ain’t bad

I’ve been trying to compile a gameplay video for Spore for a buddy at work…sort of the JRP version of “try before you buy” for a game that can’t be rented.

It’s far longer than I originally wanted, and I cut what felt like a metric ton of content for the video, and much of what’s left goes really fast. But I’m trying to represent hours and hours of gameplay (which itself purports to loosely represent 4 billion years of evolution and progress). DISCLAIMER: This video includes none of the Galactic Adventures expansion, mostly because I felt the video was too long already.

Video editing credit goes to no less than four different applications, none of which I’m going to name because I’m unhappy with all of them — else why would I have needed 3 more? Credit for capturing goes to Fraps, and no thanks to Gamecam which, although has served me well in the past, has recently proven very unreliable to me.

Music credit goes to Eric Johnson for Cliffs of Dover, and Bear McCreary, the score composer for Battlestar Galactica, for two pieces called One Year and Prelude to War. (You’ll know which is which, I think.) All remaining audio was taken directly from the game itself apart from one quote which I’ll disown you if you don’t know. And for your old(er) timers, I chose the version I remember best from my childhood; no offense to the original, eh?

Without further ado, then, this is what I have so far of the Spore Gameplay Video. (There are still a few takes I think could be done better, but this is my first attempt at a video this cohesive, and I’m out of patience to keep tweaking without sharing.)

If the embedded version doesn’t work, you can download the whole thing here. I hope you enjoy.

Critically Examining the Sims 3: Excellence is outdated

MediocrityThe folks at Maxis have got to be some of the WORST game programmers on the planet. They have high and lofty concepts for gaming but their delivery — to be quite frank — sucks.

When Sims 3 was released, registering for it gave you access to a “free town”. A month of troubleshooting, emails, and phone calls still has not enabled my game application to download objects from the Sims 3 website. These are objects that are being SOLD, by the way.

Maxis has just released patch 1.05 for Spore, finally introducing asymmetry. Let’s be honest: I’m thrilled with asymmetry. Anything that puts more control and creativity at the hands of the player is a win.

What I’m not thrilled with is that every time a Spore patch comes out, it causes my game to crash immediately upon loading, or “forgets” to include one of my installed expansions. The fix is usually a manual uninstall including editing the registry followed by a full reinstallation.

Patches are supposed to FIX annoyances like these, not cause them.

I have been trading emails and forum posts with Game Cam. Previously I have been impressed with Game Cam, using a fully paid for registered version for all my game-recording needs.

Currently, Game Cam will allow me to register but will not remove any of the restrictions imposed on unregistered users. The lady who tracks registrations insists she has no records of me EVER registering even though I have done so multiple times in the past — long before this problem arose.

Manual uninstalls with more regediting were advised as fixes, and a whole new version of the application was posted on the website. Nothing corrected the problem.

On the forum, I asked if my correspondant could recommend a more reliable program. He responded that I might have success with Fraps, but he did not know of a “more reliable” program.

Here’s a clue, guy: If Fraps works (so far it has, even though I’m out another $37 for the exact same type of software) and Game Cam doesn’t, that means Fraps is more reliable.

Wizards of the Coast announced their game-changing suite of software tools for release with 4th edition in June of 2008. As of July 2009, they have only released ONE of those tools, and have freely admitted abandoning two of the others.

Each of the above companies required purchases up front before it was possible to discover these problems. That’s how they remain in business. Even with shoddy workmanship, they keep my money.