Megan made me an omelette for dinner. That’s one of my favorites. This bears no relevance with today’s post, but it does for tomorrows. It will be interesting to see who my daily readers are! Also, I wonder if this sort of update is why people…Tweet. Just can’t bring myself to yet. We’ll see.
Due to a medical condition, I can’t take showers. I’ll spare you the details, just know that showers are not an option.
That left two options: I could sit in my own filth forever
- or I could take baths.
- I was a fan of neither, but rather less a fan of the filth. Bathing seemed the lesser evil, much like the Bush administration…at first.
Just one problem: I watch a lot of stand-up comedy. I hear many variants of this routine:
Overpaid Comic: I’m a man, what if I took a bath?
OC: Isn’t that dumb, a man taking a bath?
[uproarious guffaws, the audience has never considered anything as ridiculous as a male bathing]
OC: Might as well hand over your genitals, you won’t be needing those anymore. Read More →
As a mere man, I am not legendary. I have done very little of note on a grand scale.
But I have lived an amazing life. Though only in my mid-thirties, I have:
- Lived in two countries and four states (one shire)
- Visited five countries
- Held 48,011,517* nicknames
- Misplaced an entire automobile
- Eaten dinner with the homeless
- Created [confidential] for [redacted] – this one’s impressive, I promise.
- Played chess with strangers
- Transported hitchhikers
- Partied with people I’d only met online
- Acquired a nickname in sign language (I’ll show you…watch my hands…wasn’t that neat?)
- Was in the military for two whole months
- Played seven musical instruments (hammered dulcimer!)
- Dabbled in four careers, innumerable hobbies
- Worked in offices, warehouses, schools, retail and a county jail
- Had my writing cited by high school students
- Given speeches to cops and college students
- Created a video so polished that I was accused of illegally hosting an official trailer
- Been referenced in a Readme file
- Been stranded with $3 to my name
* Final results are still being tallied.
I’ve known amazing people and had incredible opportunities. Almost every day, something legendary happens to me or occurs to me.
In college, Pastor Andrew Wiesner asked, “What made you the way you are?” My friends might interpret “the way you are” a little differently, but he meant it as a compliment. At the time, I tried to explain my own open-minded philosophy, but that was short-sighted.
I can take credit for things I’ve done, but that’s a small sampling. How did I get so many opportunities to try different walks of life? And who taught me to embrace them?
My brilliant parents, who taught us to be open-minded above all else. My parents are the reason I’ve never hesitated to learn anything, try anything, or spend time with anyone, from homeless hitchhikers to driven business owners.
My awesome parents, who taught us that we’re not too good for anyone or anything. That nobody and nothing is too good for us.
My legendary parents, who taught us, “Do what you love, and the rest will follow.” Bizarrely, ‘the rest’ has followed, though not in the direct, linear way I first assumed. At 33, I have virtually every thing I want from life, and I do what I love to do Every. Single. Day: Reading, writing, gaming, picking on my wife**, roleplaying, level design, writing music, harassing the cats**, designing tshirts and more.
** This is how Peters men express their love.
How can I give back to my parents? How can I give back to the friends and family and colleagues and total strangers that have given me so much?
I tell stories.
This blog chronicles the legendary occurrences that follow me daily.
I hope that you enjoy them a fraction as much as I have.
All my life, I’ve felt like I was passing through.
In school, it was because I didn’t fit in and I figured the dumb jocks just COULDN’T be the ones in charge of the real world.
In the Army, it might have been because I flunked marksmanship after seven-week military career.
In college, it was because I was working towards something finite. A
four FIVE SIX S E V E N year degree. The “job” and the “housing” (loose terms each) were temporary (thank Zeus).
In law enforcement, it was because I didn’t fit in and I figured my superior officers just COULDN’T be the ones in charge of the real world. (True story: My Sheriff called his IT guy into the room to ask him whether an email to England…would actually reach England. What, did he think you needed extra email postage?)
In temp jobs, it was because they were…well…temporary.
All my life:
- I’ve lived in someone else’s property: My parents, student housing, apartments, renting a house. Today we own a house, but that wasn’t enough.
- I’ve helped someone else’s career: My boss, my friends, whomever. Today I have my own career, but that wasn’t enough.
- I’ve dreamed of sharing hopes, dreams, fears and trials with a beautiful woman. Today, I’m married to one. But that wasn’t enough.
- I’ve wished I could adopt pets of my own choosing. Today, we have two wonderful cats. But that wasn’t enough.
I’m married to a wonderful woman. We have a wonderful house, a spacious back yard backed by woods. Two cats we adore. I live twenty minutes from work, and I work in a high-tech industry for an impressive company. I also pass llamas, horses, cows, chickens and goats every day on my commute. There are deer in our backyard weekly and a bunny almost daily. I work hard but I have a ton of free time.
I live at home.