Dear Apple…

…thanks very much for the flawless OS upgrade. As usual, it has gone smoothly and without problem.

I also appreciate the specific nature of communicated errors, allowing me to troubleshoot quickly and accurately, with a minimum of search engine use and throwing objects through walls. Your patching process is so efficient that its only equal is your communication process.

Thank you for bricking my $400.00 device under the guise “upgrades”. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, as I’m sure that lacking access to music, movies, directions, email, time and temperature at my fingertips is an overall boost to quality of life.

I’m certainly better off without the music library I’ve spent thousands of hours acquiring and organizing, to say nothing of my alarm clock and to-do list. Thanks again.