Tag Archives: Irony

The day I became trapped in an alternate dimension.

13:01: Woke up in an Aperture facility; I should know, I’m a PLATINUM FOUR designer. I see those gray and white panels in my nightmares. Horrifically, I’m awake.

One of the alternate Caves must be running low on subjects. Unless there’s been another cascade resonance. God forbid.

I know how this works. I’ll have to navigate from room to room, solving puzzles and hoping to find a rift back to Earth Prime before I starve. Worse, some of the tests are deadly. Who knows how good the designers are in this dimension? There might be impossible tests.

As an Aperture Employee, it’s my duty to record my observations about the tests, so they can be recovered by AIs in the likely event of my death, and justice meted appropriately per Employee Handbook 17: GOOD DESIGNERS AREN’T TEST SUBJECTS.

The handbook must be different on this Earth, since obviously I’m a great designer and someone put me into the labyrinth. Read More →

The Greatest MMO soon free

This article fromĀ TimeĀ examines an event I’ve eagerly awaited since…February. Not long, still exciting.

Star Wars: The Old Republic can’t keep up with its subscription model and is going free-to-play this fall. The game has fallen under 1 million subscribers, but bad news for Bioware is great news for me.

http://techland.time.com/2012/08/08/the-long-hello-or-goodbye-star-wars-the-old-republic-goes-free-to-play/

Matt Peckham examines the free-to-play model as the new MMO-standard, even citing World of Warcraft as joining the bandwagon. What Peckham doesn’t realize is that the WoW free-to-play model is a joke compared to others, with a level limit of 20, despite the fact that DCUO, Champions Online and a host of lesser-known MMOs offer free-to-play with no level cap, and even limited economy participation. WoW’s “free” model is more of a trial account, not a truly free model. Read More →